Ode to the Woman of Colors' Best Friend...

I know she thinks i forgot but i didn't….but what do you get your best friend of 16 years for her birthday? We have pretty much exchanged gifts since high school….so i am truly running out of ideas….so lets try this one…

ode to the woman of colors best friend…

1995 Graphic Arts High School….Rae and D…

Look i cant tell you how we became close best friends…and frankly after over ten years of friendship i shouldn't be able to…because 50trillion memories have accumulated since then…

but lets start with the basics…

When people hated on me in HS…Dina…didn't

When people had bullshit to say while in HS…Dina… didn't even listen…

I was the outcast for obvious reasons…i'm beautiful! (HAHAHAHA)

She is smart, beautiful, attractive, educated, giving, thoughtful, supportive….and ALWAYS ALWAYS

LOYAL….

I feel sorry for the women of TheReal Housewives , Basketball wives (yeah i watch them!) etc…series…

For woman of color the bond between other females usually extends to just mother, aunts, sister, and grandmother…Many woman of color are often caught saying i don't hang around other females because they hate me or they are jealous….first of all…your a liar and your the problem. In what society CAN YOU FIND  woman isolated against one another and have such trivial relationships? Why are american woman of color any different? (…interestingly DIna and I are both considered African American by some groups….but neither of us is….she's of hispanic descent and i am mixed…both of us are were born outside of this county but are american citizens…but anyway!)

Let me be fair…no we haven't always been so close, our relationship has ebbs and flows…but always returning to the core and thats the desire to be apart of one another's life over the desire to be RIGHT…

We DID NOT go to the same college, 

We DID NOT get married or have children at the same time…

BUT

She visited me often, i wrote her letters all the time, she NEVER FORGETS MY BIRTHDAY….I ALWAYS FORGET...

She was my maid of honor at my 5 person wedding

She is the God Mother of my only child

She was at my side the moment my husband was murdered to the day they put him the ground and STILL 3 YEARS LATER HAS NOT LEFT MY SIDE….even on DATELINE NBC….(YES ANOTHER BLOG….)

There are time where i wonder why she sticks around such a messy individual and how she could possible still want to be my friend…(one day she foolishly said  I WAS THE BEST FRIEND SHE EVER HAD!?!) Our lives are like centric circles and while we will never be in the same place in our lives such as high school (and even that wasn't..thats another blog)…some bit of us is always entangled in one another..some have even said we are husband and wife and yada yada…haters….she follows me and i listen to everything she says….(you should stop reading if you feel this way….because im only gonna get mushier….and well…jump in the lake while your at it!)

I am so blessed to have a treasure…i had not realized that so many women can not say they have what i have (i realized this after my husbands death)..and i am truly sorry for them. While Dina may not like EVERYTHING I DO…I can name at least two right now (matter of fact…lol she always has something to tell me that she does not approve of)….but she always ends it with….BUT I WILL SUPPORT YOU AND WHATEVER YOU DO….am i going to jump off a bridge or commit suicide (f u dateline!)….no…because even though she supports some crazy things i do…she does not condone or participate in stupid shit and will do whatever to keep me grounded and sane…

It saddens me that we spend so much of our lives speaking ill of one another and not enough about the great relationships we have with our girlfriends…

Yeah we think alike, sometimes look alike….did we choose similar careers? sort of…but not really…do we have different interest and other friends…what are we in high school still?!? OF COURSE! But she's my ace, my tail, my confidant, my springboard, my friend, my sister……

She turns 31 today 6/28 (i did not forget!)…many people say that you outgrow people… i have officially known this girl…

through dumb ass cliques in hs

college sororities

marriages

more than half my life..

and now we are both mothers….to little girls…(knowing us…the only kids we end up pushing out! lol)

you don't outgrow people…you outgrow your need for them….

me and dina….we don't need each other….we choose to be apart of each others lives….major difference…when it comes to fight or flight….we fight…

when things get in the way….we adjust….i have never lived closed to dina….not even now…(this by far is the strangest thing)….but we have never let distance be a factor...

So on behalf of my friendship and love for my best friend on her birthday…my gift to HER is the wish that other woman out there has someone in their life remotely close to my sunshine….

and oy! maybe a spa treat!

Luv u….DD! xoxoxo 

all things...n e w y o r k

what u can c

i like the stairs

yeah i cant explain this....maybe u can?

Rainy Humid Strawberry Butts!

HAHA! I knew this would garner attention...
Today is rainy and humid.....but it doesn't stop us from enjoying the spoils of winter/spring harvest that comes in spring!
Strawberry Butts! Yeah i dont know why AD calls them that but he does...

Our New Backyard....

Living in PA i had an amazing backyard...weeping willow cherry blossom tree....it was so beautiful, and a chestnut tree in the front that flowered white plumes while in season...it dropped beautiful brown, yellow, green, leaves in late fall...i always imagined my kids playing in the large piles blown or gathered by my husband...it was an amazing idea....

Now that summer has approached us and we are here in NYC...its my mind i treasure. I fight to keep my reality balanced with the present state of things....welcome to my new back yard...maintenance seems to be low...but the rewards are high...

If we can do this everyday....then its a great day...

The First Day of Summer 2011

if you were here tonight....but your not...

Who is here....Summer and Us...and it was just perfect.

Normal day, slept till 10 am....being without a job affords you the ability to at least sleep past 7am..

Cleaned up and off to the park...for play and ice cream!

There is something about summer...about walking outside and seeing children play and beg for ice cream, icee, to play in the hydrant, the sprinkler, the pool...

Beautiful sandals, pedicured feet, slim and trim...and not so much...

Tans, Shades.....

we welcome you....and thank you for coming...

Work with what you have...wait what do we have!?!

All things look great when we first get them...that new toy, new book, new shoes, new jewelry, new haircut, new car...heck...new baby! But then things collect dust and we forget we even own things...

So today is about teaching the children about ownership, responsibility, working as a team, intrinsic value, praise, worth, and love.

in tight spaces organization and de-cluttering is a must and a way of life. Teaching the children to value not only their possessions by organizing and keeping them in its proper place to keep them damage free, but to value what their parents work hard to provide them with. Showing the children damaged toys, missing pieces, broken cars and ripped pages in books hopefully instills in them that its not fun having to throw away things we once really liked and wish we could play with again. I want them to value their possessions not because its a thing but because people in this world care enough about them to encourage their development through the one of the most positive and pleasant ways possible....through play!

So maybe our children will learn to take care of their prized possessions, learn to share the responsibility of maintaining a house, and well that mommy doesn't like cleaning the toy closet out when its in disarray and sometimes she just might throw them all out! (just kidding....I think)

Summer time meals...

Being budget conscience and well a lover of food presents an interesting challenge.  I no longer have the advantage of traveling to the best supermarkets and hunting for the best prices or best of the best of anything....sort of.....

The great thing about NYC is anything you virtually need is available to you...you just have to find it and well make it work...

So off to the market we go!...but before we do I  have decided to use my new great versa slow cooker and well some meat (cornish hens) that has been in the freezer for some time (while i don't recommend using old frozen meat it happens especially during a recession and when you are out of a job....but anyway). So i know the key to making possible old meat taste good is great seasons and well to slow cook the toughness out...and away we go to the market!

Did i mention that everyone has a shopping cart, even if you have a car! Its the best invention around because i can walk from fresh market to market collecting my goodies without feeling extra limited.
I pick up some fresh scallions, carrots, red potatoes, onions, thyme, and some cilantro based paste (i don't know what GOYA makes but its great!)

The joy of walking to the stores and picking the freshest ingredients at the best price not only gives us exercise but we get to know our new neighbors! Nikki spends this time speaking to the people in the street and walking from store to store exploring her surrounding, she asks to push the cart and help pick out fresh fruits and veggies. I use these moments to teach her new fruits and veggies and the value of money. I encourage her to pick up foods she has never seen before and explore its color, shape, texture and we talk about where they come from and how we can cook them. It truly is a great experience for the both of us! Nikki runs from block to block and we are now in the phase of development where we learn trust and boundaries. I call out to her and she responds appropriately and i give her more space and more freedom to explore.

The goal of this meal is to provide nutrition at the same time free myself from the hot ass kitchen that we all hate int he coming summer months. The blessings in slow cooking is simple...put it in and forget it!
I might start a new blog dedicated to my culinary discoveries and adventures (yet another tool in my road to recovery is returning to the things i love and enjoy and finding meaning in them again)...but for now...
Summer time meals is about providing my family with great food, while SPENDING the quality time with them.
I love being a mother...i enjoy discovering things with them and helping them discover new things!

So now that i have put all my lovely ingredients into my versacooker (sort of a blend of a slow cooker and saute' cooker) i set it and im off to color in our fairy book and discover the new land of make believe that the kids have created! Ciao Bellas!

allergies...smallergies....says grandad

One of the charges of being a grandparent is to pretty much undo every and anything your child has done to raise the healthy respectable child YOU know your parents expect of you....and so the summer (yes i know its not official yet) started with lots of just daily anytime trips for me and nikki to the park...it really started because i would get off work travel from NJ to NY to meet my boyfriend and we would have to wait until he got off from work...and luck has it...he lives across the street from a great park! so me and nik nak would go and play until he and his son came home....did you figure it out yet???
The tragedy of loosing my husband has brought life to a standstill....but how awesome was it of GOD to send me two people from my past who love and support me unconditionally?
The first...my prom date
the second...my real father
Both whom i haven't seen since the 90's...both who i need to get through this life as i am struggling so bad! BUT...
Granddad took Nikki to the park..his absolute privalge to do so...
now nik nak is known for her illness here and there...and yes allergies is one of them...
but what does grandad come back from the park with...nikki holding ragweeds and leaves...
but nikki took the side effects because Grandad gave them to her and let her pick them...he let her be a kid...
My kid...gets to be a kid...and so i say allergies...smallergies...let the girl play!
Hello SUMMER!!!
sn: pic of nik and her granddad to come soon!

Baggage

Unloading...our bags..in NYC! WE are here and we are going to have a great summer..for those who follow this blog they can get more background from thesecondjourney.tumblr.com.....

This blog is dedicated to the summer i decided to do everything i wanted to do...people said i couldn't do, things i was scared to do, and well......its the summer of us...and if you follow me you will see...just what i mean!