I know she thinks i forgot but i didn't….but what do you get your best friend of 16 years for her birthday? We have pretty much exchanged gifts since high school….so i am truly running out of ideas….so lets try this one…
ode to the woman of colors best friend…
1995 Graphic Arts High School….Rae and D…
Look i cant tell you how we became close best friends…and frankly after over ten years of friendship i shouldn't be able to…because 50trillion memories have accumulated since then…
but lets start with the basics…
When people hated on me in HS…Dina…didn't
When people had bullshit to say while in HS…Dina… didn't even listen…
I was the outcast for obvious reasons…i'm beautiful! (HAHAHAHA)
She is smart, beautiful, attractive, educated, giving, thoughtful, supportive….and ALWAYS ALWAYS
LOYAL….
I feel sorry for the women of TheReal Housewives , Basketball wives (yeah i watch them!) etc…series…
For woman of color the bond between other females usually extends to just mother, aunts, sister, and grandmother…Many woman of color are often caught saying i don't hang around other females because they hate me or they are jealous….first of all…your a liar and your the problem. In what society CAN YOU FIND woman isolated against one another and have such trivial relationships? Why are american woman of color any different? (…interestingly DIna and I are both considered African American by some groups….but neither of us is….she's of hispanic descent and i am mixed…both of us are were born outside of this county but are american citizens…but anyway!)
Let me be fair…no we haven't always been so close, our relationship has ebbs and flows…but always returning to the core and thats the desire to be apart of one another's life over the desire to be RIGHT…
We DID NOT go to the same college,
We DID NOT get married or have children at the same time…
BUT
She visited me often, i wrote her letters all the time, she NEVER FORGETS MY BIRTHDAY….I ALWAYS FORGET...
She was my maid of honor at my 5 person wedding
She is the God Mother of my only child
She was at my side the moment my husband was murdered to the day they put him the ground and STILL 3 YEARS LATER HAS NOT LEFT MY SIDE….even on DATELINE NBC….(YES ANOTHER BLOG….)
There are time where i wonder why she sticks around such a messy individual and how she could possible still want to be my friend…(one day she foolishly said I WAS THE BEST FRIEND SHE EVER HAD!?!) Our lives are like centric circles and while we will never be in the same place in our lives such as high school (and even that wasn't..thats another blog)…some bit of us is always entangled in one another..some have even said we are husband and wife and yada yada…haters….she follows me and i listen to everything she says….(you should stop reading if you feel this way….because im only gonna get mushier….and well…jump in the lake while your at it!)
I am so blessed to have a treasure…i had not realized that so many women can not say they have what i have (i realized this after my husbands death)..and i am truly sorry for them. While Dina may not like EVERYTHING I DO…I can name at least two right now (matter of fact…lol she always has something to tell me that she does not approve of)….but she always ends it with….BUT I WILL SUPPORT YOU AND WHATEVER YOU DO….am i going to jump off a bridge or commit suicide (f u dateline!)….no…because even though she supports some crazy things i do…she does not condone or participate in stupid shit and will do whatever to keep me grounded and sane…
It saddens me that we spend so much of our lives speaking ill of one another and not enough about the great relationships we have with our girlfriends…
Yeah we think alike, sometimes look alike….did we choose similar careers? sort of…but not really…do we have different interest and other friends…what are we in high school still?!? OF COURSE! But she's my ace, my tail, my confidant, my springboard, my friend, my sister……
She turns 31 today 6/28 (i did not forget!)…many people say that you outgrow people… i have officially known this girl…
through dumb ass cliques in hs
college sororities
marriages
more than half my life..
and now we are both mothers….to little girls…(knowing us…the only kids we end up pushing out! lol)
you don't outgrow people…you outgrow your need for them….
me and dina….we don't need each other….we choose to be apart of each others lives….major difference…when it comes to fight or flight….we fight…
when things get in the way….we adjust….i have never lived closed to dina….not even now…(this by far is the strangest thing)….but we have never let distance be a factor...
So on behalf of my friendship and love for my best friend on her birthday…my gift to HER is the wish that other woman out there has someone in their life remotely close to my sunshine….
and oy! maybe a spa treat!
Luv u….DD! xoxoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment